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Please don’t assault me with that meat amalgam. It would surely cause infection

Brandon Mull

What has three heads, six arms, and half a brain?” Three asked. One and Two answered in unison. “Nate Sutter.
BRANDON MULL

Ask Brain Three Two
I will not know that day has come because I will not stop trying.
BRANDON MULL

Come Knows Stop Trying
Hard to call it a party without sardines.
BRANDON MULL

Hard Party Sardines
I’ll not have my grandson subjected to the humiliation of his reading becoming public. We have to cope with this disgrace discreetly — Grandma Ruth
BRANDON MULL

Grandma Reading
The comforts of life as a fugitive,” Drake sighed. “Stumbling about in the dark without mounts.
BRANDON MULL

Comfort Dark Stumbling
It’s easy to make up weird stuff. It gets trickier when you want the weird stuff to be interesting and make sense.
BRANDON MULL

Interesting Stuff Want
He’s stubborn,” Tux warned in a singsong tone. “Stay out of this,” Mark spat. “And touchy,” Tux added.
BRANDON MULL

Spats Stubborn Tone
Nathan Sutter,” the teacher read. Here. My mother never calls me Nathan.” Is it Nate?” She calls me Honeylips.
BRANDON MULL

Call Mother Teacher
One eye is open to all truth, the other closed to all deception.
BRANDON MULL

Deception Eye Open
For Frito-Lay!” – Newel and Doren
BRANDON MULL

Country Lay People Person
Running toward danger is foolhardy. … But so is closing your eyes to it. Many perils become less dangerous once you understand their potential hazards.
BRANDON MULL

Eye Hazard Running
Ew, sicko. I was practicing Edomic.” “Sure you were,” Jason said. “You’re just too embarrassed to admit you were playing hide-and-seek all alone. Rachel hiding, nobody seeking.
BRANDON MULL

All Alone Hiding Jason
Say no to death pies. Another good motto.
BRANDON MULL

Another Good Motto Pie
Let’s worry about fixing the problem instead of the blame.
BRANDON MULL

Blame Fixing Worry
In their youth, mortals behave more like nymphs. Adulthood seems impossibly distant, let alone the enfeeblement of old age. But ponderously, inevitably, it overtakes you.
BRANDON MULL

Age Nymphs Youth
Was life like that? You could look ahead to the future or back to the past, but the present moved too quickly to absorb.
BRANDON MULL

Looks Moved Past

Please don’t assault me with that meat amalgam. It would surely cause infection

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Please don’t assault me with that meat amalgam. It would surely cause infection

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