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Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.

Boris Johnson

But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Hands People Swim
It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
BORIS JOHNSON

Easy Hard Promise Work
I think the risks that people see of terrorism are incredibly important but we are very confident we have got the right people on it and the risks have been minimised.
BORIS JOHNSON

Minimize People Risk See Terrorism Thinking
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drugs Line Myself
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.
BORIS JOHNSON

Appearance Believe Flip Human Wall
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
The next Tory leader would have to unify his party and ensure that Britain stood tall in the world.
BORIS JOHNSON

Leader Party World
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.
BORIS JOHNSON

Growth Looks Trying
London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Home Ping Pong
Our friends in America will be at the front of the queue for trade deals.
BORIS JOHNSON

Deal Friendship Queue Trade
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
BORIS JOHNSON

Criticism Low Moments Skills Style Talk
What makes the achievements of communist Russia so special and different, that you can simper around in a CCCP T-shirt, while anyone demented enough to wear anything commemorating the Third Reich would be speedily banged away under the 1986 Public Order Act?
BORIS JOHNSON

Achievement Commemorating Country Demented Wear
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Feet Sight
This is not a time to quail, it is not a crisis, nor should we see it as an excuse for wobbling or self-doubt. But it is a moment for hope…
BORIS JOHNSON

Doubt Moments Self
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ecosystems Greed Understanding

Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.

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Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.

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