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Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.

Boris Johnson

Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
BORIS JOHNSON

Chance Reason Vote Wife Yourself
I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.
BORIS JOHNSON

London Orlando Want
If gay marriage was OK … then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.
BORIS JOHNSON

Dog Man Marriage Principle Relationship
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Hands People Swim
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blameless Domesticity Done
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
BORIS JOHNSON

Disaster Discover Friendship Myself Opportunity
This is our chance to build a Britain where everyone benefits from the success of the economy.
BORIS JOHNSON

Benefits Chance Economy
Hitler showed the evil that could be done by the art of rhetoric. Churchill showed how it could help to save humanity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Art Evil Help Himself Humanity Save
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ancestor Freedom Hands Ourselves People
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cycling Law Ubiquity
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Betrayal Drugs Myself Sugar Thinking
Do you seriously propose that they are going to be so insane as to allow tariffs to be imposed. The EU is, I’m afraid a job destroying engine.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Europe Jobs
The mayors fund for London will be a streamlined vehicle for getting money from the wealth creating sector to communities across London that are facing hardship and deprivation and are the victims of crime.
BORIS JOHNSON

Community Creating Hardship
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
BORIS JOHNSON

Empty Surround Vast
London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
BORIS JOHNSON

Capital Home Myself Sports World

Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.

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Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.

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