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I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

Boris Johnson

Bring Harry home to Britain-and if you want a site with less rainfall than Rome, with excellent public transport, and strong connections to Harry Potter, I have just the place.
BORIS JOHNSON

Place Public Strong Transport
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mars Olive Pms Trees
If we judged everybody by the stupid, unguarded things they blurt out to their nearest and dearest, then we wouldn’t ever get anywhere.
BORIS JOHNSON

Guard Judgment Stupidity
I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conclusion Mad Need Professional Reality
The difference between Hitler’s speeches and Churchill’s speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.
BORIS JOHNSON

Differences Speech Thinking
I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects
BORIS JOHNSON

Dance Documentary People Respect War World
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
BORIS JOHNSON

Drug Lines Remember
The next Tory leader would have to unify his party and ensure that Britain stood tall in the world.
BORIS JOHNSON

Leader Party World
You know, sometimes I don’t understand what’s wrong with us. This is just about the most creative and imaginative country on earth—and yet sometimes we just don’t seem to have the gumption to exploit our intellectual property.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hands Jet/ Engines
My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
BORIS JOHNSON

Criticism Low Moments Skills Style Talk
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blind Creature Ecosystem Existence Kind Member
The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.
BORIS JOHNSON

Better Ideas People Truth
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
BORIS JOHNSON

Chance Reason Vote Wife Yourself
What Hitler did in his concentration camps was equalled if not exceeded in foulness by the Soviet gulags, forced starvation and pogroms.
BORIS JOHNSON

Forced Foulness Pogrom Soviet Starvation
The only reason I wouldn’t go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.
BORIS JOHNSON

Myself Reality Reason Risk
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ancestor Freedom Hands Ourselves People

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

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I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

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Popular Authors

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