I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects
BORIS JOHNSONIt was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
More Boris Johnson Quotes
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People are woefully underestimating this country and what it can achieve.
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If gay marriage was OK … then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.
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Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
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I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
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All the people I talk to, increasingly, can see that the emperor has got no clothes. The case for leaving [the EU] is now overwhelming.
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Volunteering is also now more crucial than ever in helping people find work.
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Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can’t now remember what any of them were.
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Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
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We should celebrate immigrants and everything they do for our country.
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It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness.
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In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can’t turn the clock back to 1904, what’s the point of being a Conservative?
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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
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My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.
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We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
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Some people play the piano, some do Sudoku, some watch television, some people go out to dinner parties. I write books.
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