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I saw the head of NOW – National Organization of Women – saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I’m not sure I’m going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math.

Bonnie McFarlane

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BelieveMathMen

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More Bonnie McFarlane Quotes

• 

  I think it’s creepy if a guy says, I would never hit a girl. Cause that should go without saying. That’s like if you ever heard a guy go, I would never crap in a hot tub.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  GirlGuyThinking
• 

  When I first started doing stand-up, I would be so nervous that I would just binge drink really heavily right before my sets, and as you can imagine, that had its drawbacks. But now I’m a professional, so I pace myself throughout the day.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
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• 

  I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad’s atheist, my mom’s agnostic. Just constant fighting. There’s no God! There might be!

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  AtheistMomReligious
• 

  What… is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh… yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  AwkwardRetardedSilence
• 

  I don’t think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs.

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  CuttingGuyThinking
• 

  I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Always been very creative. I always laughed at things that the rest of my family would sort of get angry, like not understand.

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  CreativeFamilyWanted
• 

  I could never be a lesbian because I have a really good sense of humor.

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• 

  Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  EventGivingImportant
• 

  My sister might be dumb, but that doesn’t make her all that different from the rest of us. She’s just like any other American. Except she’s Canadian. And retarded.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  DifferentDumbmight
• 

  I saw the head of NOW – National Organization of Women – saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I’m not sure I’m going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  BelieveMathMen
• 

  Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn’t have running water for a long time and we didn’t have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  LongRunningWater
• 

  My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She’s a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  AwkwardLongSilence
• 

  There’s no such thing as a feminist – just women who pay for their own breast implants.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  BreastsFeministPay
• 

  You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

  BONNIE MCFARLANE
  GoodLookingNeedsSuccessful