“My pitching philosophy is simpe. I believe in getting the ball over the plate and not walking a lot of men.”

Rules or no rules, pitchers are going to throw spitters. It’s a matter of survival.

I’m finding it very soul-jailing, you know? You don’t have time to play guitar or speak to your friends and family. It’s very demanding. I don’t know how people do it, to be honest, without an alcohol.

When I gave up a grand slam to Pete LaCock, I knew it was time to quit.

It is not something I earned or acquired or bought (the ability to pitch). It is a gift. It is something that was given to me – just like the color of my skin.

When I knocked a guy down, there was no second part to the story.

A curve ball is not something you can pick up overnight. It took me years to perfect mine.

My pitching philosophy is simple. I believe in getting the ball over the plate and not walking a lot of men.

A lot of people cry and complain and put their hand out and beg. It never goes well.

I don’t think that experience is a very useful or convincing attribute for a sensible foreign policy. Henry Kissinger had a lot of experience.

Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.

I’ve read a lot of really great characters in some really crappy stories, where I said, like, ‘Boy I could shine here, but the story sucks.’ I don’t want to be part of that.

A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

We dissect failure a lot more than we dissect success.

When somebody has convinced you that you’re not worth anything to anybody anymore, and they spend a lot of time doing it, you start believing it yourself.

Romcoms are hard in a lot of ways: they’re built to be buoyant. It’s easy to demean them.