I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAMMy first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
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I just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
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I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
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Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
BO BURNHAM






