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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

I had a lot of fans in New York. The press would write about me, but I couldn’t get a paying job.

Billy Eichner

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More Billy Eichner Quotes

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  I came back to New York after college like any number of struggling performers, and you just find that niche where you can have some sort of impact. And for me that turned out to be comedy.

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  I thought I was going to be like Kevin Spacey in college.

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  It was pop culture, entertainment, Hollywood, award shows – these are the things that really captivated me as a kid.

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  I think the show [Difficult People] itself creatively has evolved, has gotten much richer and tighter.

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  I’d be doing Oscar predictions months ahead of time, and not only for the Oscars, for the Grammys. This is just what excited me as a kid.

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  There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.

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  I’m not much of a dancer.

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  Award shows are fun, but completely arbitrary and absurd. And yet, I will watch every single one of them.

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• 

  Sometimes you go up to people who look totally normal and then you talk to them for a few seconds and you are like, Oh I better get out of this, because this person is a little mentally unbalanced, and they are not going to get a joke.

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  I think New Yorkers – they’re media savvy. People have a sense of humor.

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• 

  You’re going to get killed.” That’s not what’s going to kill me. The show is going to kill me. The work is going to kill me. Once I’m on the street, I’m not worried about that.

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• 

  A lot of comics aren’t their on-screen personas; Chris Rock isn’t always ranting and raving.

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  We weren’t, like, rich people, but we were middle-class people and my parents supported this love I had for entertainment.

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  I like talking to a person who is crazy in a fun, eccentric way. I don’t want to talk to a legitimate crazy person, because that’s not nice.

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  Ironically, my rabbi was a bar mitzvah Nazi. So I got bar mitzvahed. And though I didn’t want to, the theme of my bar mitzvah party was Madonna.

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• 

  Even when I was struggling and had horrible day jobs and wanted to be successful but wasn’t finding my way in.

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• 

  Every actor-performer says this, and it sounds so irritating, but I’m not the most outgoing person.

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  I would watch the Oscars and every award show with my parents. I would make lists of who was going to win.

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• 

  Difficult People? I don’t really know. I don’t have those metrics.

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• 

  I couldn’t just get up every day and be miserable and complain.

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• 

  I have a medical condition, all right. It’s called caring too much, and it’s incurable. Also, I have eczema.

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• 

  I am invisible in gay bars.

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• 

  I’ve had a lot of arguments with people, but it’s never really gotten physical.

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• 

  I thought it would be funny to go to my Korean dry cleaner and ask her about my head shot, as if it’s the most important thing in the world, and as if it’s something that everyone should weigh on because it’s important to me.

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• 

  I started out as a very traditional actor. The first thing I ever did in terms of performance was singing.

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• 

  We’re really fleshing out the whole world of the show [Difficult People]. It’s more of an ensemble now, whereas last season we were very focused on establishing the Billy/Julie friendship.

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  I think it’s for people who obviously care about pop culture or know about it, even if it’s to a fault. I think it’s for outsiders.

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