“I think we have the worst name in rock, I really do. It’s the worst name in the world”

Suffering is overated.

When you have somebody that’s smart and you’re not so smart, to me that’s modern day slavery because you’re being dictated to.

If there is any justice in this world, to be a White Sox fan frees a man from any other form of penance.

There are only two seasons – winter and Baseball.

Suffering is overrated. It doesn’t teach you anything.

The true harbinger of spring is not crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano, but the sound of the bat on the ball.

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off.

It never ceases to amaze me how many of baseball’s wounds are self-inflicted.

I don’t mind the high price of stardom. I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.

Though it is a team game by definition, it is actually a series of loosely connected individual efforts.

The most beautiful thing in the world is a ballpark filled with people.

People identify with the swashbuckling individuals, not polite little men who field their position well. Sir Galahad had a big following – but I’ll bet Lancelot had more.

Hating the Yankees isn’t part of my act. It is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.

Deplore it if you will, but Grover Cleveland Alexander drunk was a better pitcher than Grover Cleveland Alexander sober.

I don’t break the rules. I merely test their elasticity.

I try not to break the rules, but merely to test their elasticity.

The more the media peddled fear, the more the people lost the ability to believe in one another. For every new ill that befell them, the media created an explanation, and the explanation always had a face and a name.

I don’t care about how I look; I’m dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so – my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn’t care about being cool.

A name? Oh, Jesus Christ. Ah, God, I’ve been called by a million names all my life. I don’t want a name. I’m better off with a grunt or a groan for a name.

This laudable quality is commonly known by the name of Manners and Good-breeding, and consists in a Fashionable Habit, acquir’d by Precept and Example, of flattering the Pride and Selfishness of others, and concealing our own with Judgment and Dexterity.

[W]here there is no law, there is no liberty; and nothing deserves the name of law but that which is certain and universal in its operation upon all the members of the community.

The two principles referred to are Authority and Liberty, and the names of the two schools of Socialistic thought which fully and unreservedly represent one or the other of them are, respectively, State Socialism and Anarchism.

Aggression is simply another name for government.

I knew a girl, her name was Truth. She was a terrible liar.