“Hating the Yankees isn’t part of my act. It is one of those exquisite times when life and art are in perfect conjunction.”

Suffering is overated.

When you have somebody that’s smart and you’re not so smart, to me that’s modern day slavery because you’re being dictated to.

If there is any justice in this world, to be a White Sox fan frees a man from any other form of penance.

I think we have the worst name in rock, I really do. It’s the worst name in the world

There are only two seasons – winter and Baseball.

Suffering is overrated. It doesn’t teach you anything.

The true harbinger of spring is not crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano, but the sound of the bat on the ball.

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off.

It never ceases to amaze me how many of baseball’s wounds are self-inflicted.

I don’t mind the high price of stardom. I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.

Though it is a team game by definition, it is actually a series of loosely connected individual efforts.

The most beautiful thing in the world is a ballpark filled with people.

People identify with the swashbuckling individuals, not polite little men who field their position well. Sir Galahad had a big following – but I’ll bet Lancelot had more.

Deplore it if you will, but Grover Cleveland Alexander drunk was a better pitcher than Grover Cleveland Alexander sober.

I don’t break the rules. I merely test their elasticity.

I try not to break the rules, but merely to test their elasticity.

I ain’t ever had a job, I just always played baseball.

If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.

There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.

I used to soak my mitts in a bucket of water for about two days. Then I’d put a couple of baseballs in the pocket and wrap it up with a rubber band.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

Today you don’t have to do that, because catchers’ mitts are more like first baseman’s gloves.