I told [reporters] that I sprinkled marijuana on my organic buckwheat pancakes, and then when I ran my five miles to the ballpark, it made me impervious to the bus fumes. That’s when [Baseball Commissioner] Bowie Kuhn took me off his Christmas list.
BILL LEEPretty soon you’re convinced that you will never die. When that happens I guess it is time to look for help before your life becomes one long, lost weekend.
More Bill Lee Quotes
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You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I’ll show you a pennant. I’ll show you the New York Yankees.
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Trouble starts when you either lose control and let the bottle run you, or when you believe its promises of immortality.
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I’m mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I’d be remembered forever. Now, I’ll have to throw him another.
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Alcohol is like anything else. It’s only as bad as the person it’s being poured into. If it’s used to heighten an occasion, or to take an edge off stress, I don’t see a problem.
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I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.
BILL LEE -
You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It’s a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.
BILL LEE -
Pretty soon you’re convinced that you will never die. When that happens I guess it is time to look for help before your life becomes one long, lost weekend.
BILL LEE -
I was always matching wits with authority. Pondering over my past and present hassles, I began to wonder why my life had taken the direction it had.
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The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he’s going to be.
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You realize that no matter how much you punish yourself, you always seem to wake up the next day.
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Smoking’s a way to let you down slowly from a ballgame. It also makes you use less of the resources around. It makes people better in the way they act towards society. Everybody’s nicer. It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.
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I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull.
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Baseball is a lot like the Army, there aren’t many individuals. About the only difference is that baseball players get to stay in nice hotels instead of barracks.
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The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won’t matter if I get this guy out.
BILL LEE -
The most important question regarding Big Data at almost any company is: How much are your customers really worth?
BILL LEE