I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
BILL BURRI’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.
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Well probably the coolest show of that whole tour was in Germany. I had a chunk of material on [Adolf] Hitler, and I was worried about how they’d react, but they loved it.
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Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.
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I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.
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It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.
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So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
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I’ve actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I’m still young enough to travel.
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There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
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I am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.
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It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.
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I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.
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You know, it wasn’t even that I’m a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I’d be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
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I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.
BILL BURR