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I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

Bill Burr

It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
BILL BURR

Dream Netflix Pressure
Business runs hot and cold so the more you’re in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.
BILL BURR

Cold Destiny Hot Running
Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
BILL BURR

Government Mcdonalds Sandwiches
I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
BILL BURR

Country Fun People
My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
BILL BURR

Half Mouths Running
Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.
BILL BURR

Comedian Scary Sometimes
You know, it wasn’t even that I’m a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I’d be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
BILL BURR

Able Comedy Funny Guy Way
What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
BILL BURR

Experience Heart Liberal Show Worried
Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.
BILL BURR

Hard Nobody Work Harder
Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
BILL BURR

Appreciate Dog Dream
To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I’m just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
BILL BURR

Again Funny Opinion Talking Yelling
I never wanted to spend a month away from my life. One time I was out on the road for three weeks in a row and I when I came back someone had broken into my apartment and the water had evaporated from the toilet.
BILL BURR

Broken Three Water
Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
BILL BURR

Childhood Funny Running
When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.
BILL BURR

Coming Out Quality Stuff
I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
BILL BURR

Dad Jealous Mom Women
I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with ’em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don’t even notice that you’re filling up their heads with your theories.
BILL BURR

Filling Kids Thinking

I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

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I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

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Popular Authors

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