If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
BILL BURRIf you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
BILL BURRThe only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I’m in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can’t seem to come up with anything new that’s funny. That’s a tough place to be as a comedian.
BILL BURRYou have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
BILL BURRI started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.
BILL BURRYou wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
BILL BURRI’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
BILL BURRI am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.
BILL BURRI am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.
BILL BURRWhen I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.
BILL BURRMy favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
BILL BURRLike when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.
BILL BURRGold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
BILL BURRLike I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with.
BILL BURRSomething that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
BILL BURRThink about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans – if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we’d never live it down.
BILL BURRHaven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
BILL BURR