I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
BILL BURRThere is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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I’m an idiot, basically. I don’t think that I’m a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about.
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For aspiring comedians? Don’t listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
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You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
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As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.
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I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.
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I’m always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn’t get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what’s bugging me.
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If you’re on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don’t get any Tweets you know it’s bombed. I can pretty much gauge how it’s doing by comparing the reception to shows I’ve done that have actual ratings.
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My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”
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It’s a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There’s good things and bad things.
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London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their cars shipped over.
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I’m not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
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Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.
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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.
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I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.
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It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
BILL BURR