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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.

Bill Burr

You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.
BILL BURR

Fantasizing Play Safe Sleep Tremendous
Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.
BILL BURR

Hard Nobody Work Harder
My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
BILL BURR

Half Mouths Running
I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.
BILL BURR

Empathetic People Sadistic
Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.
BILL BURR

About Around Garden Necks Tandem
You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
BILL BURR

Funny Motivational Running
I don’t mind it. I just space it out. Every other week I go out. I used to get some time to myself but I’ve been pretty busy lately. But I’ve had it the other way, where I’m staring at the phone waiting for it to ring, so this is definitely better.
BILL BURR

Phones Space Waiting
Deny your emotions and act like you have answers
BILL BURR

Answers Emotion Like You
People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you’re a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is “looking for”. Just say what you think is funny. .
BILL BURR

Caring People Thinking
I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?
BILL BURR

Dead Kings Needs Walking
Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.
BILL BURR

Desert Fun
To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I’m just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
BILL BURR

Again Funny Opinion Talking Yelling
Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
BILL BURR

Gold Men Wife
I’m a standup comedian who gets to act. I’m never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I’m doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.
BILL BURR

Acting Comedian Periods
I’m not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
BILL BURR

Easy Saint Wife
I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.
BILL BURR

Boss Rough Times Used

I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.

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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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