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What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

Bill Burr

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
BILL BURR

Banker Dog Funny Hate Issue
I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
BILL BURR

Lying Psycho Stage
You know, it wasn’t even that I’m a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I’d be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
BILL BURR

Able Comedy Funny Guy Way
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
BILL BURR

Lines Trying Way
You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
BILL BURR

Funny Motivational Running
I am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.
BILL BURR

Flu Needs Want
I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it’s that same fear.
BILL BURR

Clubs Gigs People
Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
BILL BURR

Appreciate Dog Dream
If this goes into sweatshop labor, I’m quitting this podcast.
BILL BURR

Labor Quitting Sweatshops
London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their cars shipped over.
BILL BURR

Beautiful Country Jobs
You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
BILL BURR

Interviews Television Shows
I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
BILL BURR

Elbows Elderly Today
I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
BILL BURR

Miserable Misery Thinking
It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.
BILL BURR

People Stupid Talking
[I’m] more German than Irish.
BILL BURR

Country Irish More
I don’t feel like it’s a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for the candidates that aren’t bought and paid for like the Clintons.
BILL BURR

People Running Thinking

What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

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What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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