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I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that’s about as much cooking as I do.

Betty White

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it’s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can’t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that – it’s got to be funny.
BETTY WHITE

Funny Humor Joke Yourself
Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.
BETTY WHITE

Animal Better Criticism Human Lying Myself
I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that’s about as much cooking as I do.
BETTY WHITE

Cook Dog Food Kitchen Myself
I don’t care who anybody sleeps with. If a couple has been together all that time – and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heterosexual ones – I think it’s fine if they want to get married. I don’t know how people can get so anti-something.
BETTY WHITE

Care Couple Marriage Myself People Relationship Sleep
Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.
BETTY WHITE

Funny Myself Retirement Vocabulary Way
I’m in the acting business. That’s the ego business.
BETTY WHITE

Act Business Ego Myself
Take personal responsibility. A lot of people go, ‘Well, I’ll get a dog because I have a kid and a kid needs a dog.’ And it doesn’t work out for that dog and the dog is on the street.
BETTY WHITE

Children Dog Myself People Personal Responsibility
I just want to bring as much natural as I can. I’m not saying that people who take acting lessons are false. They’re much better than I am, but it doesn’t work for me.
BETTY WHITE

Lesson Myself Natural People Work
A good friend of mine was Lucy Ball. Her mother and my mother were best friends.
BETTY WHITE

Best Friendship Goodness Herself Mom
I think a lot of people like hidden-camera shows where they think they’re spying on somebody who doesn’t know they’re looking at them. And nobody takes it seriously – you either enjoy it and get a laugh out of the reactions or not.
BETTY WHITE

Camera Enjoyment Hide People Reaction Serious Yourself
I enjoy being busy, I really do. Remember, I’m the stub end of the railroad. I have no family, so I’m not taking busy time away from people that I should be spending it with. So I’m just relaxing and enjoying it.
BETTY WHITE

Enjoyment Myself People Relax Remember
I don’t seem to require a lot of sleep. I just – if I get four, five good hours, I’m fine. But sleeping is sort of dull. There’s a lot of other good stuff that you can do without just lying down and closing your eyes.
BETTY WHITE

Eyes Goodness Lying Sleep Thing Yourself
Wilderness is harder and harder to find these days on this beautiful planet, and we’re abusing our planet to the point of almost no return.
BETTY WHITE

Beautiful Hard Myself Planet Return Wild
I’m so compulsive about stuff, I know if I had ever gotten pregnant, of course, that would have been my whole focus. But I didn’t choose to have children because I’m focused on my career. And I just don’t think, as compulsive as I am, that I could manage both.
BETTY WHITE

Children Focus Management Myself Pregnant Thinking
I’m the luckiest broad on two feet, I’ll tell you that. They say once a woman passes 40 she doesn’t get any good parts, so I’m blessed.
BETTY WHITE

Age Blessing Myself Pass Time Woman
If you’re walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic. I grew up with that, and I hate to see something like that get lost. I still like to see that a man opens the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing.
BETTY WHITE

Disappear Hate Man Myself Open Protection Road Walk

I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that’s about as much cooking as I do.

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I go out to the kitchen to feed the dog, but that’s about as much cooking as I do.

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Popular Authors

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