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The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

Bette Midler

I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Ocean Wish
When the movies first started, audiences were dumbstruck to see actresses walking around in evening gowns. They’d never seen anything like that. They wanted to be like those actors and actresses, so the movies informed their behavior.
BETTE MIDLER

Drinking People Smoking
You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.
BETTE MIDLER

Bread Sliced Thinking
Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Nice Wise
I don’t need anyone to write me a show in my style, I would like to do a show in a style that wasn’t my style, because that’s the only way I can grow up and grow out.
BETTE MIDLER

Growing Style Up Writing
When it’s time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.
BETTE MIDLER

Ashes Mortals Shuffle
I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.
BETTE MIDLER

Thinking Two War
Image is everything, and the voice or the idea or the song is hardly anything at all. Half the time the person isn’t even doing the singing. I’m a bit cynical about this [music] business.
BETTE MIDLER

Ideas Song Voice
There comes a time whenyou haveto let yourclothesgo out in the world and try to make it on their own.
BETTE MIDLER

Time Trying World
Here I am, one of the most colorful women of my time – if not of my block – being made to sound positively legumelike in printed interviews.
BETTE MIDLER

Block Positively Sound
I would much rather watch myself than listen to myself. The moving is second nature, but the listening… that’s the art.
BETTE MIDLER

Art Listening Moving
A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.
BETTE MIDLER

Bigger Life People
Unfortunately, every time there’s a budget crunch in New York, the Parks Department is usually the first to be cut. So they need all the help they can get.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Cutting Parks
I hope to keep entertaining in some way until I can’t physically entertain any longer. It’s what I was born to do, and I love this profession.
BETTE MIDLER

Born Entertaining Way
If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.
BETTE MIDLER

Actresses Being Different Singers
Me, I’m just a hack. I’m just a schlep-per. I just do what I can do.
BETTE MIDLER

Hack Just

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

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The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

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