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The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

Bette Midler

I’m looking for something that gives me a chance to stretch. Because I have my own work, and I can do anything I want in my own work – juggle, tap dance, anything I want.
BETTE MIDLER

Anything Stretch Work
Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.
BETTE MIDLER

Jakhammer Poetry Rap
Do you want to live and work in a garbage dump? I don’t. That’s partly because I grew up in the most pristine environment possible – Hawaii, where it is sacrilege to leave your garbage on the ground.
BETTE MIDLER

Dump Garbage Possible Wanted
The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.
BETTE MIDLER

Foundation Names Opera
Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
BETTE MIDLER

Acceptance Inspirational Strong Women
Total contentment is only for cows.
BETTE MIDLER

Contentment Cows Total
When I read that, I burst into tears. It was so generous and so basic. Not fluffy. I can’t understand why we scrimp on education and shortchange our kids. Why would the citizenry do that to the people who are going to inherit its republic?
BETTE MIDLER

Country Generous Kids Shortchange Understand
If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.
BETTE MIDLER

Actresses Being Different Singers
Just because people don’t meet you doesn’t mean they’re not out there breaking their asses trying to get around.
BETTE MIDLER

Mean People Trying
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
BETTE MIDLER

Book Country Horse
I have a ball – and it keeps my heart rate up. I get to wear fabulous clothes. I get to make people laugh. That’s my core business, and that’s where I’ll always return.
BETTE MIDLER

Clothes Heart People
It’s the one who won’t be taken that cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.
BETTE MIDLER

Dance Fear Philosophy
I believe that Judy Garland’s artistry was so fine. I mean, when people say: ‘oh, she brought so much of her life to her music’, I don’t really believe that. I believe that she didn’t have to. She just was a moving human being. That was her gift.
BETTE MIDLER

Believe Mean Moving
My parents have not insisted that we go to college, but she wanted us to learn. Teacher, librarian, secretary, nurse. All my siblings were employed. But I wanted to be the boss, an independent contractor.
BETTE MIDLER

Independent Sibling Teacher
Find your Light; They can’t love you if they can’t see you
BETTE MIDLER

Light Love You See
I think the essence of humor has not changed. It’s all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed.
BETTE MIDLER

Essence Issues Thinking

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

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The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

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