black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Bette Midler

Life is like cooking your masterpiece recipe. You have to get the right ingredients,have the right mixture and the right cooking time to reveal the PERFECT and DELICIOUS TASTE of your craft.
BETTE MIDLER

Cooking Life Perfect
You have to be alert. When my daughter, Sophie, came out of the womb, she was instantly alert, as if she had been here before. And she was a little disappointed that she was here again.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Littles Sophie
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
I loved the photographs of people wearing elaborate makeup and costumes – they really pulled at me inside. I was in that library every week for years, until I was about 13. I had a rich interior life, because I didn’t have much of a social life.
BETTE MIDLER

Books Costumes Love Photograph Until
Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.
BETTE MIDLER

Fighting Race Years
I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.
BETTE MIDLER

Holiday Religious Self
Enough about me. What do you think about me?
BETTE MIDLER

About Enough Thinking
[On Denmark:] … that little country of cottage cheese and courage.
BETTE MIDLER

Cheese Cottages Country
The Internet has changed everything. People will be discovered online. People buy music online. It’s a completely different way to get entertainment.
BETTE MIDLER

Different People Way
Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Play Random
I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.
BETTE MIDLER

Always Breakup Married
If they [at the audition] don’t like the way you sound they won’t buy you anyway, ripped dress or no ripped dress, ass hanging out or no ass hanging out.
BETTE MIDLER

Dresses Sound Way
I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.
BETTE MIDLER

Cadillacs Couple Sex
I’m confident that I’m as intelligent as many people, but I know that I’m not as intelligent as some. So in the presence of hyperintelligent people, I’m a shrinking violet because I don’t want to look like a fool. I know a little about a lot and a lot about a little.
BETTE MIDLER

Intelligent People Shrinking
I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Ocean Wish
I fear for the future of the planet. But in a funny way, I’m even sanguine about that.
BETTE MIDLER

Planets Sanguine Way

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes