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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Bette Midler

Most people don’t deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as Chaplin or Lucille Ball.
BETTE MIDLER

Balls People
I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.
BETTE MIDLER

Drinking Drunk Perspective
I don’t need anyone to write me a show in my style, I would like to do a show in a style that wasn’t my style, because that’s the only way I can grow up and grow out.
BETTE MIDLER

Growing Style Up Writing
Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
BETTE MIDLER

Acceptance Inspirational Strong Women
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Hilarious Love
Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Nice Wise
I always wanted to be a performer, I didn’t know exactly what kind of performer, all I knew was there were certain things that I liked. I liked movies a whole lot, and I loved music.
BETTE MIDLER

Certain Kind Wanted
I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Ocean Wish
That’s the Oscars for ya – you remember who was nominated, but you don’t remember who won!
BETTE MIDLER

Nominate Oscar Remember
Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Fit Men
GOD is watching us, from a Distance.
BETTE MIDLER

Distance God Watching
Enough about me. What do you think about me?
BETTE MIDLER

About Enough Thinking
While I was growing up, I believed I could do anything I could think of. So the challenge was always to keep thinking – to get to where I wanted to be and then to think of somewhere else to go.
BETTE MIDLER

Else Growing Somewhere Thinking
There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.
BETTE MIDLER

Emotional Friends Kind
My daughter very independent. But if she’s upset about something, she will absolutely let me know. She’s great – a real tough cookie.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Independent Real
Culturally, it’s very hard to change people’s attitudes about public space.
BETTE MIDLER

Attitude People Space

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes