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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Bette Midler

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Jealousy Success
Here I am, one of the most colorful women of my time – if not of my block – being made to sound positively legumelike in printed interviews.
BETTE MIDLER

Block Positively Sound
Thank God for the gays. I don’t know what would have happened but I know what did happen. Good for them and good for me.
BETTE MIDLER

Gay God Happened Thank
It is true that in this culture, they throw you out when you get older. I see it all the time, especially in my business. At my age, you’re playing somebody’s mother – and there aren’t even a lot of those roles!
BETTE MIDLER

Age Culture Mother
I loved the photographs of people wearing elaborate makeup and costumes – they really pulled at me inside. I was in that library every week for years, until I was about 13. I had a rich interior life, because I didn’t have much of a social life.
BETTE MIDLER

Books Costumes Love Photograph Until
It’s important that you all agree on what the parameters are and what you can accomplish – and not get pissed off or beat yourself up for what you can’t accomplish.
BETTE MIDLER

Beats Important Off Pissed
it will cleanse itself, and new life forms, maybe better ones, will come. Meanwhile, we’ll have gotten exactly what we deserved: annihilation.
BETTE MIDLER

Annihilation Costume Exactly Gotten
I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!
BETTE MIDLER

House News Stories Watches
I want to have fun, and I want to give people a good laugh.
BETTE MIDLER

Fun Giving People
Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Fit Men
Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.
BETTE MIDLER

Infidelity Pace Smell
The Internet has changed everything. People will be discovered online. People buy music online. It’s a completely different way to get entertainment.
BETTE MIDLER

Different People Way
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.
BETTE MIDLER

Jakhammer Poetry Rap
You have to be alert. When my daughter, Sophie, came out of the womb, she was instantly alert, as if she had been here before. And she was a little disappointed that she was here again.
BETTE MIDLER

Daughter Littles Sophie
Lay a foundation – get my foot in the door, and then undoubtedly, of course, I would be offered great roles as soon as I grew up enough to handle them.
BETTE MIDLER

Enough Foundation Great Lay

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes