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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Bette Midler

GOD is watching us, from a Distance.
BETTE MIDLER

Distance God Watching
Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.
BETTE MIDLER

Acceptance Inspirational Strong Women
I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.
BETTE MIDLER

Holiday Religious Self
When you reach a certain age, you have fulfilled your childhood dream and whatever your first or second adulthood led you to do. T
BETTE MIDLER

Childhood Dream Thinking
If you’re frightened, you’re out of luck.
BETTE MIDLER

Frightened Luck Out
When I turned 50, I threw myself a big birthday party, and I looked seriously at what my life has been about. I recommend this to everybody. Ask yourself, “What have I done? How did I do it? Where’d I mess up?
BETTE MIDLER

Assessment Land Party
That’s the Oscars for ya – you remember who was nominated, but you don’t remember who won!
BETTE MIDLER

Nominate Oscar Remember
The Internet has changed everything. People will be discovered online. People buy music online. It’s a completely different way to get entertainment.
BETTE MIDLER

Different People Way
A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at.
BETTE MIDLER

Grow Up Mother People
The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.
BETTE MIDLER

Foundation Names Opera
I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.
BETTE MIDLER

Nature Love Spite
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
BETTE MIDLER

Age Birthday Funny Mind
Thank God for the gays. I don’t know what would have happened but I know what did happen. Good for them and good for me.
BETTE MIDLER

Gay God Happened Thank
My parents taught me: Do not rely on a man. Not rely on it that you get married and it pays for you. That’s what I figured. I have always paid my own bills.
BETTE MIDLER

Men Parent Pay
Just because people don’t meet you doesn’t mean they’re not out there breaking their asses trying to get around.
BETTE MIDLER

Mean People Trying
I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.
BETTE MIDLER

Bears Grudge Mind

I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

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I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes