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I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.

Bernie Mac

I’m very much disciplined because I’m more mature. When I was young I just wanted to live, I could jump, I could run, I was quick and I was relentless.
BERNIE MAC

Mature Relentless Running
Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
BERNIE MAC

Made Stand
I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.
BERNIE MAC

Build Myself Somebody
I wasn’t disciplined at all. As good of an athlete as I was, I was not disciplined. Had I had the drive that I have in comedy, and acting, and writing, that’s why I knew it just wasn’t right for me.
BERNIE MAC

Acting Athlete Comedy Writing
I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
BERNIE MAC

Directly Frustrated Manual Mistake Selfish
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine
I think a lot of TV insults the audience.
BERNIE MAC

Insult Television Thinking
My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Always Finish Grandmother
Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
BERNIE MAC

Barbers Hear Shop Stay
If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
BERNIE MAC

Bigger Laughing Stories
I hate to compare anything, especially while I’m promoting. I feel that’s another disrespect, but ‘Ocean’s 13’ is the best movie I’ve ever done in my life. No question.
BERNIE MAC

Another Disrespect Feel Hate Ocean
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Head Maintenance Myself
I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn’t changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.
BERNIE MAC

Cities House Neighbourhood South Years
It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, ‘Why am I so black?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.’
BERNIE MAC

Dark Hard Heart Mom Rough Work
Every time you see a black romance it’s over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.
BERNIE MAC

Romance Sex Strong Woman
I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.
BERNIE MAC

Clown Comedian Funny

I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.

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I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.

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