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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

Bernie Mac

You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.
BERNIE MAC

Cameras Comes Light Men Microphone
My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
BERNIE MAC

Always Finish Grandmother
You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.
BERNIE MAC

Buffoons Going Playing
My daughter was a beautiful child.
BERNIE MAC

Beautiful Children Daughter
It took me a long time to get to where I’m at, in my career and as a man. I was going through my trials and tribulations in life, and it gave me the strength to tackle things that have come my way.
BERNIE MAC

Careers Long Men Trial Tribulation
I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
BERNIE MAC

Extraordinary Guy Jobs Ordinary
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
Black audiences are hard. They always think they’re better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.
BERNIE MAC

Black Littles Satisfy Thinking
My girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’
BERNIE MAC

Girlfriend Right School Things Wife
It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, ‘Why am I so black?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.’
BERNIE MAC

Dark Hard Heart Mom Rough Work
The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
BERNIE MAC

Audience Comedy Thing
People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.
BERNIE MAC

Alive Fighting People Upset
I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
BERNIE MAC

Perfect Robot Trying
I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
BERNIE MAC

Black Country Scuba Used
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Head Maintenance Myself
Comedy has been so good to me.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Good One

Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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