Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKSAlone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKSSometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKSMaybe the new me will be different.
BEATRICE SPARKSI pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
BEATRICE SPARKSI’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
BEATRICE SPARKSMy biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.
BEATRICE SPARKSEven my parents treat me like I’m stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKSI’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
BEATRICE SPARKSSometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKSI feel like Alice in Wonderland. Maybe Lewis G Carroll was on drugs too.
BEATRICE SPARKSThey don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKSHow can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKSIt’s a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory, blood-smeared earth.
BEATRICE SPARKSI’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKSLying – remembering beauty in truth.
BEATRICE SPARKSWhy is life so difficult? Why can’t we be just ourselves and have everyone accept us the way we are?
BEATRICE SPARKS