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Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

Barry Humphries

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Athletic Contemporaries Coronary Golf Occlusion
I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don’t feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It’s worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Comedian People Thinking
I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Funny Laughing Priceless
Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Country Funny Humor
There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Comedian Fate Seriously Taken Terrible
If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Explain Give Up might Satire
I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it’s very comfortable and dependable.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Art Past Thinking
I’m an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Desire Husbands Women
The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Best Delightful Live Past Place
Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Harbor Nature Pearls
I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Body Bother Hair Men Some Women
I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn’t so bad. BO chic it should be called.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Bad Chic Little People Unhygienic
I’ve decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don’t, if you put them first, they never thank you. You’ll never get a word of thanks from them.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

First Lasts Secret
To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one’s mother.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Mother Night Party
He’s very, very well-known. I’d say he’s world-famous in Melbourne.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Known Luck Well World
It’s an old Aboriginal word meaning ‘Let’s get together and have fun’. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.
BARRY HUMPHRIES

Fun Needs Together

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

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Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

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