“If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.”

A man from the west will fight over three things: water, women and gold, and usually in that order.

Without the National Federation of Republican Women, there would be no Republican Party.

It is safe to say that the U.S. Congress is now run by paid staffers, not by people elected to do the job.

It’s a great country, where anybody can grow up to be president . . . except me.

The fellow has absolutely no principles.”Money and gall” is all he has.

I am frankly sick and tired of the political preachers telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C, and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?

You don’t have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.

A woman has a right to an abortion. That’s a decision that’s up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right.

If the Conservative is less anxious than his Liberal brethren to increase Social Security ‘benefits,’ it is because he is more anxious than his Liberal brethren that people be free throughout their lives to spend their earnings when and as they see fit

When fraternities are not allowed, Communism flourishes. Young men who are inexperienced but have faith are more useful than older, experienced men without faith. The fraternity system is a bastion of American strength.

Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world.

The Republicans have a positive talent for self-destruction.

We have enough trouble with women without giving them M16 rifles.

Can any of us refute the wisdom of Madison and the other framers? Can anyone look at the carnage in Iran, the bloodshed in Northern Ireland or the bombs bursting in Lebanon and yet question the dangers of injecting religious issues into the affairs of state?

We cannot allow the American flag to be shot at anywhere on earth if we are to retain our respect and prestige

I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

My suggestion is that we should first work to ensure the Third World has clean drinking water and sanitation.

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things aren’t good. Drinking’s not good. Some would say milk’s not good.

Yes, they’re sharing a drink they call loneliness But it’s better than drinkin’ alone.

Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it’s hard to stop drinking beer.

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink

I gave up drinking lots of whiskey and began to practice yoga and meditation. As a result I am not dead.

I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.