“If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.”

We now have a president who tries to save money by turning off lights in the White House, even as he heads toward a staggering addition to the national debt. “L.B.J.” should stand for Light Bulb Johnson.

Religious factions will go on imposing their will on others unless the decent people connected to them recognize that religion has no place in public policy. They must learn to make their views known without trying to make their views the only alternatives.

History has to judge every man who served. I don’t know how they’re going to treat me. I may be the worst S.O.B. that ever came down the pike. But I won’t lose any sleep over it. I just like to be remembered as an honest person who tried.

The Conservative knows that to regard man as part of an undifferentiated mass is to consign him to ultimate slavery.

If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.

My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them.

The big thing is to make this country – quit discriminating against people just because they’re gay. You don’t have to agree with it, but they have a constitutional right to be gay. They’re American citizens.

Perserverance. . .that’s been the story of my family.

Throughout history, government has proved to be the chief instrument for thwarting man’s liberty.

I’m the most underdog underdog there is.

After one of his [Hubert Humphrey] long-winded harangues I suggested he had probably been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. He responded by saying that I would have been a great success in the movies working for Eighteenth Century-Fox.

I certainly believe in aliens in space, and that they are indeed visiting our planet. They may not look like us, but I have very strong feelings that they have advanced beyond our mental capabilities.

I will offer a choice, not an echo.

Government should stay the hell out of people’s business.

In your heart you know he’s right.

Some programs have been theatrical masterpieces, but all we’re seeing is the negative side of nuclear war.

My biggest weakness as a endurance athlete has been in not drinking enough water after training, thereby racing sometimes while dehydrated.

I’m calling for all responsible Americans to fight back and punish Pepsi for using a man who degrades women, who encourages substance abuse, and does all the things that hurt particularly the poor in our society.

When the movies first started, audiences were dumbstruck to see actresses walking around in evening gowns. They’d never seen anything like that. They wanted to be like those actors and actresses, so the movies informed their behavior.

Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir William Temple: the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.

At about the age of ten, my friends and I discovered the joys of sitting in graveyards drinking merrydown cider and kissing and stealing our elder siblings’ records.

My secret is one the world needs to know – nearly a billion people a year die from unsafe drinking water.

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.

Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.