“Nobody likes, you know, the ugly parts of politics.”

You know, for one glorious half hour, I was the mother of the president-elect.

I’m taking a vow not to advise.

It seems to me I spent my life in car pools, but you know, that’s how I kept track of what was going on.

I decided I ought to pick a project that would not be controversial, that would not really cost the government a lot of money.

If more people could read, write, and comprehend, we could be much closer to solving so many of the other problems our country faces today.

The Titanic was built by professionals. The Ark was built by volunteers.

Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.

I think togetherness is a very important ingredient to family life.

I hate abortions, but just could not make that choice for someone else.

I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly what their child is up to all the time.

I love talking to people, but what I really love is to feel you’re doing something instead of sitting home and twiddling your thumbs.

Family and friends and faith are the most important things in your life and you should be building friendships.

I don’t like attacking.

I’m not going to jump out of airplanes or anything like someone else I know.

Nancy Reagan was a perfectionist, and I am not.

You may think the president is all-powerful, but he is not. He needs a lot of guidance from the Lord.

A life whose beginning we do not remember, and whose end we do not know.

I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.

I have great respect for directors who know what they’re doing.

Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.

Fortunately, as we all know, it’s impossible for anybody but Jimmy Smith to really sound like Jimmy Smith.

You never know what your next dig is going to find.

You can’t be a doctor if you don’t know the entire parts of the body.

I have a perfectly average skewed perception of myself. We often don’t know what we’re like.