“Of all sexual aberrations, chastity is the strangest.”

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.

The history books which contain no lies are extremely tedious.

Nine tenths of education is encouragement.

I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom.

Science neither cares to please nor to displease. She is inhuman. It is not science but poetry that charms and consoles. And that is why poetry is more necessary than science.

When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.

Dictionary: The universe in alphabetical order.

Man is a rational animal. He can think up a reason for anything he wants to believe.

The wonder is, not that the field of stars is so vast, but that man has measured it.

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

It is by acts and not by ideas that people live.

It is not customary to love what one has

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Without lies, humanity would perish of despair and boredom

Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me.

An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don’t.

If my mouth can move this quickly in an argument imagine what it could do on you.

The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it.

I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Love fucks me in ways even lust would envy.

And as regards Adam and Eve we must maintain that before the fall they were virgins in Paradise: but after they sinned, and were cast out of Paradise, they were immediately married.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Sex is not required to sell my film. My name is enough.