From the normal irritations of living together, they learn how to assert themselves, defend themselves, compromise.
ADELE FABERTake two kids in competition for their parents’ love and attention.
More Adele Faber Quotes
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I was a wonderful parent before I had children.
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No wonder they mobilize all their energy to have more or most. Or better still, all.
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Let us realize that along with food, shelter, and clothing
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Less time alone with parents. Less attention for hurts and disappointments. Less approval for accomplishments. . . .
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Let us be different in our homes.
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Our job is to let our children know what’s right about them.
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And it’s not hard to understand why in families across the land,
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No one cares / who is better / who is worse / who has more / who has less.
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The whole world will tell them what’s wrong with them–out loud and often.
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Content in our connectedness / we are brothers and sisters / after all.
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I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.
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From their endless rough-housing with each other, they develop speed and agility.
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From their struggles to establish dominance over each other, siblings become tougher and more resilient.
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Comforters for our todays / Guardians of memories
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Add to that the envy that one child feels for the accomplishments of the other;
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The mere existence of an additional child or children in the family could signify Less.
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We deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems.
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Take two kids in competition for their parents’ love and attention.
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The personal frustrations that they don’t dare let out on anyone else but a brother or sister,
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When we acknowledge a child’s feelings, we do him a great service.
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The sibling relationship contains enough emotional dynamite to set off rounds of daily explosions.
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And sometimes, from their envy of each other’s special abilities they become inspired to work harder, persist and achieve.
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The resentment that each child feels for the privileges of the other;
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You can call on each other / and count on each other … / because each other / is all you have.
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I was a wonderful parent before I had children.
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And once he’s clear about that reality, he gathers the strength to begin to cope.
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