There is always a ..belief that by destroying the thing that we love we destroy our needs
ADAM PHILLIPSTragic heroes are failed pragmatists. Their ends are unrealistic and their means are impractical.
More Adam Phillips Quotes
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Sanity, as the project of keeping ourselves recognizably human, therefore has to limit the range of human experience.
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The child [uses] ‘doubt about food to hide doubt about love.’
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The past influences everything and dictates nothing.
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We have been taught to wish for it, but the wish to be understood may be our most vengeful demand, may be the way we hang on, as adults ,
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We are tyrannized by our blind spots, and by whatever it is about ourselves that we find unacceptable.
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To grow up is to discover what one is unequal to.
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The big secret about Art is that no one wants it to be true.
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It is as if to say: if these are not valued – if these forms of wanting and feeling and speaking and doing – are not cultivated and encouraged and rewarded in the child, then the child will be mad.
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Everybody is dealing with how much of their own aliveness they can bear and how much they need to anesthetize themselves.
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The vocabulary of one’s self-criticism is so impoverished and clichéd.
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The child can find out what the object ..might be only by finding ..obstacles to its access
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To our grudge against our mothers; the way we never let our mothers off the hook for their not meeting our every need.
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Wanting to be understood, as adults, can be our most violent form of nostalgia.
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The whole notion of sanity may be an attempt to medicalize morality – to speak of the good in the language of health: to make us more accurate, more scientific in our wanting – but by the same token it becomes a form of moral blackmail.
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Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.
ADAM PHILLIPS