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Re-colonizing it and sort of reverse-colonizing it to the point that today the national dish of Great Britain is Chicken Tikka Masala.

Aasif Mandvi

It is ironic that it doesn’t matter how successful I am in any other capacity. Ultimately, my parents marker is do you have a wife? And do you have children?
AASIF MANDVI

Children Iconic Marker Successful Wife
Samantha Bee said to me when I first started on the “Daily Show”, she was like no – there is no – the only way you’ll learn this job is by doing this job.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily First Job Learn No Samantha Bee She Show Started Way
I think politicians and comedians have a lot in common. One is a group of approval-seeking narcissists who will say and do anything to be liked… and comedians are always talking about politics.
AASIF MANDVI

Approval Comedian Common Grop Politician Seeking Talking Thinking
In Britain, you never get away from the fact that you’re a foreigner. In the U.S., the view is it doesn’t matter where you come from.
AASIF MANDVI

Come Fact Matter Views Where You
Now the bigots have to get creative. Good luck coming up with slurs for Chechens. Go back where you came from, Ushanka head.
AASIF MANDVI

Bigot Chechen Committee Creative Good Luck
I’ve always said I’m the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that’s ever existed, because I’ve been inside more bars than mosques.
AASIF MANDVI

Bar Existed Inside More Mosque Muslim
I was born in India – but never really lived there.
AASIF MANDVI

Born India Live Really
Statistically there is enough voter fraud to sway zero elections.
AASIF MANDVI

Election Statistically Voter Voter Fraud Zero
I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.
AASIF MANDVI

Beach Day Enjoy Girlfriend Hanging Spent
I’m Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.
AASIF MANDVI

Big Friend Holiday Jewish Muslim Off Pork Way
If people invited Muslims into their home every week by way of a TV show would go a long way to making people feel comfortable with Muslims and countering misconceptions about who we are. Plus, of course, that will make it easier for us to impose sharia law across America.
AASIF MANDVI

Comfortable Every Feel Home Long People Week
I said we are Ghodratis and there’s nothing that Ghodratis like more than a bargain.
AASIF MANDVI

Bargain Ghodrati More Nothing Said
It’s an organic thing that I try not to analyze too much, because I worry that it will go away.
AASIF MANDVI

Analyze Away Going Try Trying Worry
Indian culture is essentially much more of a we culture. It’s a communal culture where you do what’s best for the community – you procreate.
AASIF MANDVI

Community Culture Essential Indian
North Carolina precinct chairman and GOP executive committee member Don Yelton thinks his state’s new voting restrictions are just fine.
AASIF MANDVI

Carolina Definitely Don Member North Restriction State Thinking Voting Yelton
I was a fan of “The Daily Show” I watched it,I never imagined being on it, but I figured I would just go down there and do my best Stephen Colbert impression.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily Down Fan Figure Imagine Impression Show Watch

Re-colonizing it and sort of reverse-colonizing it to the point that today the national dish of Great Britain is Chicken Tikka Masala.

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Re-colonizing it and sort of reverse-colonizing it to the point that today the national dish of Great Britain is Chicken Tikka Masala.

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Popular Authors

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