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I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.

Aasif Mandvi

Bradford specifically there were a lot of Pakistanis there. Even today it has a very large Pakistani population.It was something that I experienced
AASIF MANDVI

Bradford Danger Home Kid Population School Something Specially Today
Now the bigots have to get creative. Good luck coming up with slurs for Chechens. Go back where you came from, Ushanka head.
AASIF MANDVI

Bigot Chechen Committee Creative Good Luck
I never consciously got into comedy. It was sort of one of those things where I was a theater student, I was acting, I was doing comedy, I was doing dramatic stuff, so it’s been something that I’ve always done and enjoyed doing and had an instinct to be relatively good at.
AASIF MANDVI

Acting Comedy Conscious Done Stuff Theatre Thing
When my family decided to leave England I could not have been happier. I was sort of like – America seemed like the land of opportunity and, you know, it was Hollywood to me.
AASIF MANDVI

America Decide Family Land Like Opportunity Seem Sort
I think politicians and comedians have a lot in common. One is a group of approval-seeking narcissists who will say and do anything to be liked… and comedians are always talking about politics.
AASIF MANDVI

Approval Comedian Common Grop Politician Seeking Talking Thinking
I’m Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.
AASIF MANDVI

Big Friend Holiday Jewish Muslim Off Pork Way
Indian culture is essentially much more of a we culture. It’s a communal culture where you do what’s best for the community – you procreate.
AASIF MANDVI

Community Culture Essential Indian
Paki- bashing was kind of this term that was used in general to beat up anyone that was from the Indian subcontinent.
AASIF MANDVI

Anyone Bashing Beat General Kind Subcontinent Used
When you’re brown and Indian, you get offered a lot of doctor roles.
AASIF MANDVI

Brown Doctor Indian Offer Roles
I’m not really a food connoisseur.
AASIF MANDVI

Connoisseur Food Really
I said we are Ghodratis and there’s nothing that Ghodratis like more than a bargain.
AASIF MANDVI

Bargain Ghodrati More Nothing Said
I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.
AASIF MANDVI

Beach Day Enjoy Girlfriend Hanging Spent
When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
AASIF MANDVI

Ate Eating Friend Made Mom Peanut Butter Sandwich
Because to Americans, Chechnya might as well be a suburb of Narnia.
AASIF MANDVI

Chechnya Country might Narnia Suburb
In America, people think being South Asian is still kind of exotic. When you go outside New York and Chicago and L.A., there are people who have never tried Indian food… they’ve never even tasted it!
AASIF MANDVI

America Chicago Country Exotic New York Outside People Thinking
England has an interesting relationship with the Indian subcontinent because the years of colonization and the history between the two places.
AASIF MANDVI

Colonization Country Interesting Relationship Subcontinent Two Year

I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.

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I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.

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Popular Authors

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