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I was born in India – but never really lived there.

Aasif Mandvi

Voter fraud does just barely exist, while racism, according to the Supreme Court, is a thing of the past.
AASIF MANDVI

Court Doe Fraud Past Racism Supreme Voter
When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
AASIF MANDVI

Ate Eating Friend Made Mom Peanut Butter Sandwich
I’m not really a food connoisseur.
AASIF MANDVI

Connoisseur Food Really
If you choose to be a Muslim then you believe that it is on some level wrong to show the image of the Prophet Muhammad.
AASIF MANDVI

Believe Levels Prophet Muhammad
For anybody who’s ever been on the other end of, like, racial violence logic is not something that can be used.
AASIF MANDVI

End Like Logic Something Used Violence
I think that hijacks the spirituality and beauty that exists within Islam. I believe in allowing Islam to be seen in context and in its entirety and being judged on what it really is, not what you think it is.
AASIF MANDVI

Allowing Beauty Exist Hijack Islam People Spiritual Think
From my parent’s generation the idea was not that marriage was about some kind of idealized, romantic love. It was a partnership. It’s about creating family. It’s about creating offspring.
AASIF MANDVI

Creating Generation Idea Ideas Marriage Parent Romantic Love
Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.
AASIF MANDVI

Bus Chased English Getting Home Kid Praying Stop
I said we are Ghodratis and there’s nothing that Ghodratis like more than a bargain.
AASIF MANDVI

Bargain Ghodrati More Nothing Said
We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.
AASIF MANDVI

Cast Father Law Pancake Pawn
Statistically there is enough voter fraud to sway zero elections.
AASIF MANDVI

Election Statistically Voter Voter Fraud Zero
I think you had the GOP down there in North Carolina reaching out to African-American voters and this guy coming on television and using the N-word and saying what Don Yelton said.
AASIF MANDVI

African American Coming Guy Television Thinking
When my family decided to leave England I could not have been happier. I was sort of like – America seemed like the land of opportunity and, you know, it was Hollywood to me.
AASIF MANDVI

America Decide Family Land Like Opportunity Seem Sort
I never consciously got into comedy. It was sort of one of those things where I was a theater student, I was acting, I was doing comedy, I was doing dramatic stuff, so it’s been something that I’ve always done and enjoyed doing and had an instinct to be relatively good at.
AASIF MANDVI

Acting Comedy Conscious Done Stuff Theatre Thing
I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.
AASIF MANDVI

Beach Day Enjoy Girlfriend Hanging Spent
Now the bigots have to get creative. Good luck coming up with slurs for Chechens. Go back where you came from, Ushanka head.
AASIF MANDVI

Bigot Chechen Committee Creative Good Luck

I was born in India – but never really lived there.

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I was born in India – but never really lived there.

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