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I’m Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.

Aasif Mandvi

Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.
AASIF MANDVI

Bus Chased English Getting Home Kid Praying Stop
Voter fraud does just barely exist, while racism, according to the Supreme Court, is a thing of the past.
AASIF MANDVI

Court Doe Fraud Past Racism Supreme Voter
Paki- bashing was kind of this term that was used in general to beat up anyone that was from the Indian subcontinent.
AASIF MANDVI

Anyone Bashing Beat General Kind Subcontinent Used
In Britain, you never get away from the fact that you’re a foreigner. In the U.S., the view is it doesn’t matter where you come from.
AASIF MANDVI

Come Fact Matter Views Where You
You can get samosas in any pub in England today, pretty much. So, “Gunga Din” has come back.
AASIF MANDVI

Back Come England Pub Samosa Today
The great joy of doing ‘The Daily Show’ for me is that I get to sit on the fence between cultures. I am commenting on the absurdity of both sides as an outsider and insider. Sometimes I’m playing the brown guy, and sometimes I’m not, but the best stuff I do always goes back to being a brown kid in a white world.
AASIF MANDVI

Commenting Culture Great Guy Kids White
I’ve always said I’m the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that’s ever existed, because I’ve been inside more bars than mosques.
AASIF MANDVI

Bar Existed Inside More Mosque Muslim
I think that hijacks the spirituality and beauty that exists within Islam. I believe in allowing Islam to be seen in context and in its entirety and being judged on what it really is, not what you think it is.
AASIF MANDVI

Allowing Beauty Exist Hijack Islam People Spiritual Think
I know the Gospel according to Mark better than I know any sura in the Quran.
AASIF MANDVI

Better Gospel Know Mark Quran
From my parent’s generation the idea was not that marriage was about some kind of idealized, romantic love. It was a partnership. It’s about creating family. It’s about creating offspring.
AASIF MANDVI

Creating Generation Idea Ideas Marriage Parent Romantic Love
It’s an organic thing that I try not to analyze too much, because I worry that it will go away.
AASIF MANDVI

Analyze Away Going Try Trying Worry
England has an interesting relationship with the Indian subcontinent because the years of colonization and the history between the two places.
AASIF MANDVI

Colonization Country Interesting Relationship Subcontinent Two Year
When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
AASIF MANDVI

Ate Eating Friend Made Mom Peanut Butter Sandwich
If people invited Muslims into their home every week by way of a TV show would go a long way to making people feel comfortable with Muslims and countering misconceptions about who we are. Plus, of course, that will make it easier for us to impose sharia law across America.
AASIF MANDVI

Comfortable Every Feel Home Long People Week
Now the bigots have to get creative. Good luck coming up with slurs for Chechens. Go back where you came from, Ushanka head.
AASIF MANDVI

Bigot Chechen Committee Creative Good Luck
Samantha Bee said to me when I first started on the “Daily Show”, she was like no – there is no – the only way you’ll learn this job is by doing this job.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily First Job Learn No Samantha Bee She Show Started Way

I’m Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.

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I’m Muslim the way many of my Jewish friends are Jewish: I avoid pork, and I take the big holidays off.

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