“The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say.”

It seems to me that television is exactly like a gun. Your enjoyment of it is determined by which end of it you’re on.

Actually, I have no regard for money. Aside from its purchasing power, it’s completely useless as far as I’m concerned.

To me Psycho was a big comedy. Had to be.

Blondes make the best victims. They’re like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.

I’m not much into rear window ethics.

Man does not live by murder alone. He needs affection, approval, encouragement and, occasionally, a hearty meal.

Revenge is sweet and not fattening.

People don’t always express their inner thoughts to one another; a conversation may be quite trivial, but often the eyes will reveal what a person really thinks or feels.

I would almost say that the best screen actor is the man who can do nothing extremely well.

I’m a writer and, therefore, automatically a suspicious character.

Drama is real life with all the boring parts cut out.

Disney has the best casting. If he doesn’t like an actor he just tears him up.

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

In the documentary the basic material has been created by God, whereas in the fiction film the director is a God; he must create life.

The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one’s antagonisms. And if you haven’t any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

I know many of you thought that I would be retiring today, but if I was ever going to announce my retirement it would not be in a downtown Los Angeles hotel with this fairly ugly carpet.

When I asked Imran Khan for an autograph he picked up his bat to hit me.

The good Lord added an extra dash of forehead when making me.

I can fight with all actors, I can face them and win, but I cannot fight aliens.

I’d love to romance Aishwarya Rai. But I’m 58 now. So I have to play her father.

Yoga may look peaceful and calming, but even Arnold Schwarzenegger would have trouble breathing after twenty surya namaskars in a row.

Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

The world’s most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice.