“Now I know why tigers eat their young.”

It’s a racket. Those stock market guys are crooked.

When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality.

Capitalism is the legitimate racket of the ruling class.

Hell must be a pretty swell spot, because the guys that invented religion have sure been trying hard to keep everybody else out.

Bolshevism is knocking at our gates, we can’t afford to let it in.We must keep America whole and safe and unspoiled. We must keep the worker away from red literature and red ruses; we must see that his mind remains healthy.

I have built my organization upon fear.

A smile can get you far, but a smile with a gun can get you further.

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Some call it bootlegging. Some call it racketeering. I call it a business.

I am sick and tired of publicity. I want no more of it. It puts me in a bad light. I just want to be forgotten.

My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they’re going to stay that way.

Vote early and vote often.

I am like any other man. All I do is supply a demand.

Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

You accomplish more with a smile, a handshake, and a gun than you do with just a smile and a handshake.

You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.

Live now. When you are eating, eat. When you are loving, love. when you are talking with someone, talk. When you are looking at a flower, look. Catch the beauty of the moment!

There is not a woman born who desires to eat the bread of dependence, no matter whether it be from the hand of father, husband, or brother; for anyone who does so eat her bread places herself in the power of the person from whom she takes it.

Eating toast in the shower is the ultimate multitask.

Never make eye contact with anyone while eating a banana.

Just as money is not real, consumable wealth, books are not life. To idolize scriptures is like eating paper currency.

If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

The Comrade Wolf knows whom to eat, as the saying goes. It knows whom to eat and is not about to listen to anyone, it seems.