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You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

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Contest Humour Man Sarcastic

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil’s own satanic herd!
ROWAN ATKINSON

Cow Devil Life Path
Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.
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Marketing is what gets you noticed.
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Market Notice One Liner
But I always feel that whatever I do, I could do better. I suppose it is perfectionism.
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I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.
ROWAN ATKINSON

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I think you’re bound to get a sense of any character that you play. It’s not something you often do in comedy.
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Excellence is not an act but a habit.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Act Entrepreneur Excellence Habit One Liner
I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Different Express Inclination Myself Performance Want
Nope, I don’t enjoy work generally. Not because I’m lazy; it’s just all so stressful and worrying.
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Enjoyment Lazy Stress Work Worry
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
ROWAN ATKINSON

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I have a problem with Porsches. They’re wonderful cars, but I know I could never live with one.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Car Problem Wonderful
I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I’m in the company of good friends, but I’m not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.
ROWAN ATKINSON

Company Friendship Funny Heart Joke Quite Reason Serious
If you want to be strong learn to live alone.
ROWAN ATKINSON

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When I was doing Bean more than I’ve done him in the last few years, I did strange things – like appearing on chat shows in character as Mr. Bean.
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I’m not a collector. I don’t like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate.
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We must be allowed to insult each other.
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