“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

My religious convictions and scientific views cannot at present be more specifically defined than as those of a believer in creative evolution.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

I do not know what I think until I write it.

Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling.

Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Whisky is liquid sunshine.

What does God hate or punish except self-will? Let self-will cease, and there will be no hell. On what does that fire feed except on self-will?

In the deepest night of trouble and sorrow God gives us so much to be thankful for that we need never cease our singing.

Restraining prayer, we cease to fight; Prayer keeps the Christian’s armor bright; And Satan trembles when he sees The weakest saint upon his knees.

The passion for power over others can never cease to threaten mankind, and is always sure of finding new and unforseen allies in continuing its martyrology.

I will pray, therefore, for blessings on my friends, even though they cease to be so, and upon my enemies, though they continue such.

Cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words, and following after speech.

Death doesn’t affect the living because it has not happened yet. Death doesn’t concern the dead because they have ceased to exist.

I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.