“Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!”

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple.

You’ll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.

A drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Never lose a chance: it doesn’t come every day.

Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

What you are to do without me I cannot imagine.

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.

After all, the wrong road always leads somewhere.

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she’s treated.

Imitation is not just the sincerest form of flattery – it’s the sincerest form of learning.

As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death.

Have lots of experiments, but make sure they’re strategically focused.

Read carefully anything that requires your signature. Remember the big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

A low-minded person should not be given good advice.

The world’s most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice.

Don’t expect others to listen to your advice and ignore your example.

Be of love a little more careful than of anything.

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”

The best advice I’ve ever got is to be yourself. Stay true to who you are and what you stand for and you’ll go far in life.