My hair is always at its best in New York. I don’t know what’s in the water. It could be mousse.
ELLEN DEGENERESI’m glad I’m funny. I’m glad I make people happy, because that’s very important. But I’m proud to be known as a kind person.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to yourself.
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Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
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When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.
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It would be horrible to live with someone who didn’t like the same things you like.
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Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside – to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.
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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
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Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
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I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness – and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I’m a human trying to make it through in this world.
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I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.
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You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
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I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.
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The most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and to not give in to peer pressure to try to be something that you’re not.
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I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
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Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
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Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they’re fine
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I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.
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I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don’t eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.
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We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
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No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
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Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
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I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
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I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
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When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
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I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal – because I’m not hiding anything from them.
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So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES