I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERESI don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
-
-
Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I admire people who know they can’t sing. There are so many people out there who can’t sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
It would be horrible to live with someone who didn’t like the same things you like.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Above all, I strive to be the best I can – to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES -
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
ELLEN DEGENERES -
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don’t know how it would be different because I’ve never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman’s or Sharon Stone’s. I think everybody’s fame is different.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
You have to have funny faces and words, you can’t just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that’s why it’s hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
ELLEN DEGENERES