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When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.

Ellen DeGeneres

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dog Funny Humor
The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fear Inspirational Thinking
Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight, it is not a number at all. It is not physical.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eight Numbers Physical Zero
I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I’m about to take a bite of something.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Nice Pictures Somebody Worry
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dancing Music New Orleans Without
I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Matter Out Weight Work
I’m a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lesbian People Vegetarian
I prefer to believe that people are good and honest and respect me enough to tell me the truth. It’s not easy to find those people all the time, but they’re out there.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Honest People
You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Breathing Funny Relationship Nerves
I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Rip
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Ideas
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cruz Pens Perfect
I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal – because I’m not hiding anything from them.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Careers Fans Supportive
Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Called Dust Something Thinking Wipe
The most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and to not give in to peer pressure to try to be something that you’re not.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Giving Graduation Integrity

When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.

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When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.

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Popular Authors

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