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I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.

Ellen DeGeneres

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Ideas
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Hilarious Judging
I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hair Somebody White
Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fake People Reality Years
I believe one day a ‘ban on gay marriage’ will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Gay Out Speaks
It would be horrible to live with someone who didn’t like the same things you like.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Horrible Like Things
I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Rip
Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Another Bye Kind People
I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Cute Funny
All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. “Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety?” “Yes, I have all those things! I’m alive!”
ELLEN DEGENERES

Anxiety Funny Humor
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Home Pet Resentment
Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eye Inspirational Inspiring
True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eye Hair Inspiring Related Women
We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lunch Procrastination Talking
Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Lines People

I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.

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I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.

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