It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
ELLEN DEGENERESI hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That’s really why I do what I do.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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I don’t consider myself an interviewer as much as an entertainer.
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One rough patch is not the big picture.
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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
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So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
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I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don’t know how it would be different because I’ve never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman’s or Sharon Stone’s. I think everybody’s fame is different.
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I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
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Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor.
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In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
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I just like observing people – it’s something I’ve done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That’s a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.
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Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
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I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ringing. There wasn’t one job offer. And at that point, I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn’t work in Hollywood again.
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I believe one day a ‘ban on gay marriage’ will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.
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I would rather be the good aunt who never says anything bad and lets the parents discipline the child.
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Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
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The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES