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For some reason, we can’t just enjoy somebody else’s success. Somehow, that’s going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less – and I don’t know why.

Ellen DeGeneres

My hair is always at its best in New York. I don’t know what’s in the water. It could be mousse.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Country Hair People Water
…we should be grateful for them because without our family-the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day-life is pretty boring.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cousin Grateful Years
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Being Comedian Teenage Yourself
Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Life Procrastination
Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It’s not a number at all.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Beauty Between Numbers Size
I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Cute Funny
I would love for the world to be happier.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happier Love World
I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Clicks Somebody Special Want
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Happiness Key Keys Realizing
What’s New Orleans without music? And what’s music without dancing?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dancing Music New Orleans Without
So be who you really are. Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hug Killers Serial Killer
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That’s really why I do what I do.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Better Feel Littles People
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Whistling

For some reason, we can’t just enjoy somebody else’s success. Somehow, that’s going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less – and I don’t know why.

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Popular Authors

For some reason, we can’t just enjoy somebody else’s success. Somehow, that’s going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less – and I don’t know why.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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