I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERESI was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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I don’t think I remember my first memory.
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If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
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I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
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Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.
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We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
ELLEN DEGENERES -
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
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I have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
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There is something about TM. It is the only time I have that stillness… It gives me this peaceful feeling-I just love it so much.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight, it is not a number at all. It is not physical.
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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
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…we should be grateful for them because without our family-the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day-life is pretty boring.
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We can sit and worry about what’s going to happen to us two weeks from now. I’d rather focus on the amazing things happening right in front of us.
ELLEN DEGENERES -
It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
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Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
ELLEN DEGENERES







