“I’m a sensationalist. I’m a big mouth. I get attention. In this world you have to – if you want a mass-market presentation, you have to get attention.”

If you’re thinking of debt, that’s what you’re going to attract.

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big.

I wanted to be a child actor so bad that every day I’d beg my parents if I could audition, but my mom said, ‘Not until you can drive yourself to auditions.’

He [Barak Obama]’s a guy from Chicago. He doesn’t know what the hell to do. He’s got a big pipe with a hole in it.

You know what’s really frightening? You (Jon Stewart) actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it’s true. You’ve got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote.

I think cable television is wobbling and I think people aren’t going to forget what happened – because you had a situation where one of the candidates was hated, not just disagreed with, hated.

We live in an age where truth really doesn’t matter anymore.

If I’m the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, ‘Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you’re not going to get another nickel in federal funds.

It is a powerful statement that a good man suffered for me, that a just God was looking out for me, and if I lived a good life.

It’s an excellent movie. Really excellent.

I’m not writing a Ph.D. Dissertation.

Hitler and Joseph Goebbels understood that if you say something loud and long enough many people will believe it.

Saddam Hussein… I believe is involved with this World Trade Center and Pentagon bombing. I believe that you’re going to find out that money from Iraq flowed in and helped this happen.

Your mom was right when she told you never to discuss politics and religion because emotions run so high in those arenas. Especially religion.

And I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was – it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship.

They advertise on the radio for food stamps!

When you got your hand in the lion’s mouth, don’t do nothin’ til you get it out.

To feed ten mouths, she had to call on Mr. Welfare.

When words come out of politician’s mouth that are linguistically incorrect, people see it reflecting their intelligence. Sarah Palin was called out for “refudiate,” which seemed to combine refute and repudiate. One favourite Bushism was “misunderestimate.”

I wrote about the life of a housing officer in Britain, in a pretty rough area of London. Maybe it was because I’m a big-mouth and an exhibitionist, and I’m slightly egotistical. All those things have to come together for a writer.

A successful person allows his results to speak for him, not his mouth.

I knew that with a mouth like mine, I just hadda be a star or something.

They asked me, How did you learn to sing the blues like that? How did you learn to sing that heavy? I just opened my mouth and that’s what I sounded like.

Open your mind before your mouth.