I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.
BERNIE MACIt’s a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.
More Bernie Mac Quotes
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My comedy comes from pain. I can’t stand to see someone hurting.
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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.
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When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
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I’ve always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there’s people used to get mad at me because I didn’t hang out and things like that. I’ve never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’ve never been posse, and all that. I’m a quiet storm.
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Every time you see a black romance it’s over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.
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Making people laugh is what I’ve been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don’t care about how I look, I’m dedicated to the laughs.
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I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.
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My girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’
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I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.
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It’s a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.
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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.
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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
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I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.
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You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
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Bernie Mac don’t sugarcoat.
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Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
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I’m very much disciplined because I’m more mature. When I was young I just wanted to live, I could jump, I could run, I was quick and I was relentless.
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When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je’Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
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You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.
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I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.
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I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
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Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you’ve learned your lesson.
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You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.
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If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don’t be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
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When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take ’em.
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You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.
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