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Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

Bernie Mac

I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
BERNIE MAC

Black Country Scuba Used
When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.
BERNIE MAC

Beer Boat Golf Ice Lobster
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
Suffering is a good teacher. It keeps you in its grip until you’ve learned your lesson.
BERNIE MAC

Lesson Suffering Teacher
Making people laugh is what I’ve been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don’t care about how I look, I’m dedicated to the laughs.
BERNIE MAC

Laughing Life Live Making Passion Years
You can’t be a doctor if you don’t know the entire parts of the body.
BERNIE MAC

Body Doctors Knows
Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
BERNIE MAC

Able Laughing Red Same Time
I know doing movies is where I need to be. That’s where my audience wants to see me.
BERNIE MAC

Audience Needs Want
I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.
BERNIE MAC

Play Waiting Want
People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.
BERNIE MAC

Alive Fighting People Upset
Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.
BERNIE MAC

Expecting Something Upset Way
I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.
BERNIE MAC

Gangs Motorcycycle Nature Things
I’m an entertainer and I really enjoy entertaining. I think if you’re going to really be what you say you are, you have to really live it, work it, practice it, and think it.
BERNIE MAC

Enjoy Entertaining Practice Thinking
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine
As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets – but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
BERNIE MAC

Gang Growing Kind Men Up
I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Different Happen Thinking
I love my daughter, but there’s a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?
BERNIE MAC

Daughter Emotion Feelings
Hugs aren’t like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.
BERNIE MAC

Hug Pie Pieces Plenty
My girlfriend Rhonda, who’s now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, ‘You’ve got to do the right thing.’
BERNIE MAC

Girlfriend Right School Things Wife
Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
BERNIE MAC

Barbers Hear Shop Stay
The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
BERNIE MAC

Audience Comedy Thing
The Bernie Mac Show’ is my life. It’s the truth, and I’m not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.
BERNIE MAC

Hours Minutes
I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.
BERNIE MAC

Office Running
You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.
BERNIE MAC

Buffoons Going Playing
I came from a place where there wasn’t a lot of joy.
BERNIE MAC

Joy Lot Place
I’ve always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there’s people used to get mad at me because I didn’t hang out and things like that. I’ve never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’ve never been posse, and all that. I’m a quiet storm.
BERNIE MAC

Cat Hang Play Sports
I have so much respect for what’s funny.
BERNIE MAC

Funny Mush Respect

Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

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Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

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Popular Authors

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