“I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world.”

Pretty soon you’re convinced that you will never die. When that happens I guess it is time to look for help before your life becomes one long, lost weekend.

The most important question regarding Big Data at almost any company is: How much are your customers really worth?

You realize that no matter how much you punish yourself, you always seem to wake up the next day.

You have only two hemispheres in your brain – a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It’s a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

I’m mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I’d be remembered forever. Now, I’ll have to throw him another.

Alcohol is like anything else. It’s only as bad as the person it’s being poured into. If it’s used to heighten an occasion, or to take an edge off stress, I don’t see a problem.

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he’s going to be.

Smoking’s a way to let you down slowly from a ballgame. It also makes you use less of the resources around. It makes people better in the way they act towards society. Everybody’s nicer. It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned.

You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I’ll show you a pennant. I’ll show you the New York Yankees.

That’s why I’ve gotten so much experience at my age.

You have three teachers next to you every game, and if I’m not playing, I’m watching baseball.

But I love baseball and I love to play hard.

I love the flow of the game. There’s a certain fluidity to basketball. I don’t enjoy watching baseball or football in the same way.

In my opinion I really haven’t done anything yet. I still have a lot to prove. I just want to prove to myself that I can play at the highest level of baseball in the world every day.

I hope baseball doesn’t get to the point where everyone’s saying, ‘He takes it [steroids]. He takes it. He takes it!’ because not all of us do. I’ve been big my whole life, and I’ll always be big. That’s all natural.

In baseball, it’s tough to get up for every single game, every single moment. In football, you have 90,000 fans screaming and the band’s playing. I do miss that

At Texas, I was a football player playing baseball. And the way I play I think I still am.