Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSONThey say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
More Boris Johnson Quotes
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I’m no communist. I’m a tax cutting Conservative. But I want a capitalism that is fairer to forgotten people.
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My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
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It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.
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I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?
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David Lloyd George had been to Germany, and been so dazzled by the Führer that he compared him to George Washington. Hitler was a ‘born leader’, declared the befuddled former British Prime Minister.
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As a Scot Gordon Brown will find it hard to convince people in England he should be prime minister.
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It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness.
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London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
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My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
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If gay marriage was OK … then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.
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It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
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The crucial thing is to look in an informed way at what’s going on. Look at the way in which we are forced by our imbalanced system to push away people who might contribute mightily to the NHS.
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My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.
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I think it is going to be wonderful. I went to the Paralympics in Beijing and have seen how brilliant the sport is at first hand. People are going to love it. It is going to change people’s attitudes to Paralympians and it is going to be a great show.
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Never in my life did I think I would be congratulated by Mick Jagger for achieving anything.
BORIS JOHNSON