If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
BRAD WILLIAMSNow, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
More Brad Williams Quotes
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I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
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It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That’s the constant. That’s the thing that I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.
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I’m not going to talk too much politics because I’m not smart enough to do that.
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There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
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I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
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I don’t get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
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I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It’s a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.
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When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
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I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS